There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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