Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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