TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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