Clothes are such an inconvenience.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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