dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
