I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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