I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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