Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This is my gift to your gina
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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