Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
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Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize