You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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