We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
