i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize