No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize