I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
accomplished twins. life is a go
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
