new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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