69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
