I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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