Can i not drive my cunt home
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Randomize