Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
