no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
