how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
