he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize