I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
