this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize