It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
