i think i scared a bird with my dick
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
