her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Mom said you looked used
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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