i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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