Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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