Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
