I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
