Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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