You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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