I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
