I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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