he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
