we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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