She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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