somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The struggles of a small town man whore