You're my little dorito
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I got copblocked.
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.