Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session