Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
