do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize