And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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