Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
