last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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