Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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