I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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