I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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