took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
