i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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