Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She told me I should be a condom model.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.