And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard