Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
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Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
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ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.