my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
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if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
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her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.