Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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