Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
