Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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