I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
