idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
